The Corner Office

Irony

2010-11-23T13:18:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow morning, I will finally move to...

the corner office.

Literally.

I'm some kind of prophet, I guess.

Edgy New MormonAd

2010-01-08T09:02:00.005-05:00

I think of funny things about twice a year. I think this may be one of them.

It's too bad I'm not teaching seminary anymore. This would have made for an interesting lesson.

"4 And it shall come to pass that I will smite this my people with sore afflictions, yea, with famine and with pestilence; and I will cause that they shall howl all the day long.
5 Yea, and I will cause that they shall have burdens lashed upon their backs; and they shall be driven before like a dumb ass.
6 And it shall come to pass that I will send forth hail among them, and it shall smite them; and they shall also be smitten with the beast wind; and insects shall pester their land also, and devour their grain.
7 And they shall be smitten with a great pestilence—and all this will I do because of their iniquities and abominations.
8 And it shall come to pass that except they repent I will utterly destroy them from off the face of the earth; yet they shall leave a record behind them, and I will preserve them for other nations which shall possess the land; yea, even this will I do that I may discover the abominations of this people to other nations. And many things did Abinadi prophesy against this people."

Worst Christmas Songs Evah!

2009-12-23T09:51:00.002-05:00

Maybe not the worst ever, but if I hear Paul McCartney simply having a wonderful Christmas time one more time I'm going to fling myself from a very high mound of snow. Below are the three Christmas songs that drive me insane every year, and a runner-up that I just don't like, but has not yet driven me insane.

1. "Wonderful Christmastime" - Paul McCartney
If I was deaf watching TV and the lyrics came up on the screen via closed captioning, I would stare at a flame for three days to purge the image from my brain.
2. "Last Christmas" - George Michael
"Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away... blah!"
3. Happy Christmas (War is Over)- John Lennon
"War is over if you want it, war is over yeah... blah!"

Honorable mention:
4. Christmastime is Here- Charlie Brown
I don't know who really performs it, but it's a real snoozer, except when they miss their notes, then it's just grating.

On the other hand, while the 12 Days of Christmas song is usually pretty dreadful, since it's just long and repetitive, I enjoy this version by Straight No Chaser. In fact, we bought their whole Christmas ablum since it's so entertaining.

Conference First Impressions

2009-10-13T11:34:00.003-04:00

I'd love to be able to go to a "General Conference Roundup" website where each talk was listed and discussed. If such a site exists, please let me know. In the meantime, here are some impressions I had of three talks from conference.

We caught two sessions of General Conference while at Dan and Julee's for the weekend. Now I'm downloading the rest and listening to them on the metro, and I'll add to this post as more impressions come. I'm interested to hear what talks impressed everyone else.

1. Elder Dieter F. Uchdorf: The Love of God
I love this quote from Elder Uchdor's talk about what I call "commandment creep":

"'If ye love me, keep my commandments.'

"This is the essence of what it means to be a true disciple: those who receive Christ Jesus walk with Him.

"But this may present a problem for some because there are so many 'shoulds' and 'should nots' that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles—many coming from uninspired sources—complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth with man-made addenda. One person’s good idea—something that may work for him or her—takes root and becomes an expectation. And gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of "good ideas."

This commandment creep effect stems from how we teach. For example, if I'm teaching a lesson on keeping the Sabbath Holy, I may then say, "What things can you do to keep the Sabbath holy?" "Don't watch TV," "don't do homework," "visit family," etc. etc. These may be great ideas, and they may help some people to keep the Sabbath day holy. But the problem arises when a person who feels they should not do homework on Sunday projects that requirement on everyone else. The commandment is to keep the day holy. The application is left to each of us, with prophetic counsel to guide us.

Other commandment creeps include drinking caffeinated drinks, attending Sunday School, and the entire unwritten order of things. Good things? Sure. But they are specific applications of gospel principles, and God leaves to each of us to determine how we decide to live the principles, within certain clear boundaries.

2. Elder Richard G. Scott: Acquiring Spiritual Guidance
I loved how Elder Scott described his process of receiving revelation.
a. receive prompting
b. write it down
c. compare the writing to the prompting to make sure the writing accurately reflects the prompting
d. ponder the prompting
e. ask, "Is there more, Lord?"
f. if so, repeat the process
Money quote: "The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit."

3. Elder Holland's talk was a powerful testimony of the divine nature of the Book of Mormon, and it strengthened my own belief that the Book of Mormon was received from God through Joseph Smith.

I Couldn't Have Known

2009-09-10T14:16:00.002-04:00

I didn't understand that I would feel a certain kind of love as a parent that I have never felt before.

When I was a teenager, I was playing a game at a friend's house, and my mom called and told me to come home. When I got home, I asked her why she wanted me there, and she didn't have an answer. "I just want you here," she said.

I was bored at home, and clearly my mom was being unreasonable, since she had no reason to want me at home. So I waited for a while, then sneaked back to my friend's house.

I didn't understand then that a person could love someone so much that would just want to be near them. I didn't understand that maybe my mom just wanted to gather her children around under her own roof for a day. I didn't understand that my mom may have been happy just listening to us kids goof around or just watching us watch TV.

I could only understand what I wanted (playing with friends) and that my mom's irrational request was interfering with what I wanted.

I've always hated when people have told me, "As soon as you experience X, then you'll understand." But this time it's true. With Mari and Des away for a couple of weeks, I feel a keen desire to be near them, to sit and snuggle, take a nap with my family nearby. We don't have to be doing anything special. I'd be perfectly happy just watching Des play on his own, or to hear him driving his toys around the house.

Maybe I understand now, Mom. I'm sorry I ran away that day. But I don't think I could have understood that you might just want to be near a stinky, selfish (and self-conscious), moody teenager just because you loved him. I could not have understood how you felt until I had a child of my own to love with my whole soul.

Who wants to drink it now?

2009-04-01T10:52:00.003-04:00

I held up a glass of cool water from the drinking fountain.

"Here is a nice, cool glass of water," I told the class. I took a drink and sighed, refreshed.

"Give me a drink," one of the kids said (as if on cue, when in fact, he just has a tendency to say whatever pops into his head, even at 6:30 in the morning).

"Okay, I'll give you a drink." Then I drank from the glass again, swished the water in my mouth, and spit it into the cup. "Who wants to drink it now?" (Two hands went up, of course, but they got the point)

I explained that this was a bit like relying on others for our understanding of the scriptures. It's OK, and it will nourish you, but it's better to go to the source. In fact, just reading the scriptures isn't enough, because the real source is God, so the kids needed to seek their own testimonies of the truths taught in the scriptures.

And for 5 minutes this morning I had their attention.

This object lesson is part of a three or four part lesson I am in the midst of. First, I handed out a list of "truths," such as "Heavenly Father answers prayers," "Joseph Smith was a prophet," and "the Priesthood is God's power on earth." I asked the kids to check a truth that they felt they had learned by the Holy Ghost. Then, I asked them to briefly describe the experience (in writing).

One of the students couldn't think of anything. I told her that it was okay, and if she didn't feel like she had felt the Holy Ghost yet in her life, we would perform a "spiritual experiment" a la Alma 32. However, first I wanted to ask a few questions to see if I couldn't jog her memory.

"Have you ever prayed and felt like your prayer was answered, or felt different afterward?"
"I can't think of anything."
"Have you ever performed baptisms for the dead and felt different in the temple?" (btw, feeling "different" is not necessarily the Holy Ghost, but it could be, and if she answered in the affirmative, I could ask follow up questions to determine whether she felt is was the Holy Ghost)
"I got in trouble when I went."
"Fine. But did you feel different in the temple?"
"I don't know."
"Have you ever received a priesthood blessing in which you felt the Holy Ghost testify that it was from him?"
(...thinking...) "My patriarchal blessing."
"Good. And how did that feel?"
"Awesome."
(Due to lack of time, I didn't explore more yet, but we'll get there. I did mention how special patriarchs are.)

I didn't know if all the kids would recognize an experience in which they felt the Holy Ghost. If not, that would have been okay. As mentioned above, we would have performed a "spiritual experiment" by praying and seeking a confirmation from the Holy Ghost. But everyone thought of at least one experience.

Today was stage two. We learned about the value of the scriptures to teach doctrine and improve ourselves (2 Tim. 3:14-17) and I asked the kids to find a scripture that related to their experience. I gave examples of scriptures involving prayer, the priesthood, baptisms for the dead, and others. Some of the kids used my suggestions and others looked up scriptures on their own.

Tomorrow we will enter stage three. We will learn about testimony, and I will ask each kid to write their testimony of the experience. What did the Holy Ghost teach them by testifying to them of the spiritual truth?

In the coming weeks, we will flesh out the details of the experiences and I will have each youth share their experience with the class including (1) a scripture, (2) an experience where the Holy Ghost taught them a truth contained in the scripture, and (3) a testimony of what the Holy Ghost taught them. Since the kids had a variety of experiences, this exercise will tie into a variety of lessons from the New Testament.

I confess that seminary is exhausting, mentally and physically. But today I got some payback. To have each of these groggy teens recognize and share their experiences (without complaint, mind you) has lifted my hopes for their ability to put down spiritual roots, and strengthens my own faith as well.

Chastened

2009-03-20T12:55:00.002-04:00

The escalator was out again (although it was the "down" escalator, so it should be called a "descalator") so we were all crowded like cattle trying to get down and out of the metro station. About three people ahead of me, I could see a little old lady, and she was really slow. The people on the right side of the descalator were passing us pretty steadily.

The guy behind me saw a break in the line, and he jumped in. He had the right idea. I looked back and there was still room, so I jumped to the other side, eager to get off the descalator, past the old lady, and home to my family. But then the guy in front of me (who had so recently been behind me) slowed down. Terrific! Then I saw him reach down, and take the old lady's bag-it was one of those smallish rolling luggage bags. She thanked him profusely as he carried it down the escalator and waited for her at the bottom. Without her load, she moved much faster.

I felt like a louse. I'm usually pretty nice, but I often focus on what I want and where I want to be and forget to take time to help people around me whom I don't know. That's goodness. That's kindness. That's whom I want to be.

Beware of ABBA

2009-02-24T15:21:00.004-05:00

There I was-- crossing the Potomac, riding in a metro rail car on my way back to work from the Patent Office in Virginia. I had my iPod out, and I was playing Solitaire (or Klondike, if you prefer) listening to ABBA.

Then I realized I was tapping my feet, and very nearly singing out loud, "Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight..."

I tell you, ABBA is very catchy. And very dangerous.

Say what you will about their clothing, but they generate some snappy (and compelling) songs.

"Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world"

October Conference Reprise

2009-02-08T20:43:00.002-05:00

I'm listening to October's General Conference again on my iPod. I just finished the Saturday morning session, and a few thoughts struck me:

"Faith is not only a feeling; it is a decision."

Elder Anderson's entire talk, "You Know Enough," was excellent. This portion refers to a blessing he gave his friend who had just lost his daughter, and was questioning his faith.

In another portion, he talks of a girl who was born deaf and was talking to a boy in line at the grocery store. The boy had no legs. She said, "“Did you know that when Heavenly Father made me, my ears did not work? That makes me special. He made you with no legs, and that makes you special. When Jesus comes, I will be able to hear and you will get your legs. Jesus will make everything all right.”

I love this story. I love the lack of self-consciousness, lack of adverse judgment, lack of self-pity or other-pity, for that matter. I love the faith and the knowledge she has of her worth.

Other talks in the Saturday AM session were good as well, but this one stood out to me as having the most messages I will remember.

Book Review: Eon: Dragon Reborn

2009-02-08T20:33:00.002-05:00

I recently read Eon: Dragon Reborn after reading a review by Orson Scott Card. I like most of the stuff he recommends, especially when he describes things as "absolutely stunning."

Eon is a fantasy novel very loosely based on Asian lore. In short, I agree with Card. The book is very well-written. The characters are well-developed and well-balanced. The pacing is excellent. I enjoyed the book from beginning to end, and was not bored once.

So if you are in the mood for an excellent fantasy novel without dwarves, elves, etc., I highly recommend Eon: Dragon Reborn, by Alison Goodman.

For an entertaining-but-not-great fantasy series with dwarves and elves, try the Riftwar Saga, by Raymond Feist. It is filled with cheese and cliches, but it was entertaining.

Movie Reviews: City of Ember, Inkheart, Eagle Eye

2009-01-27T07:56:00.001-05:00

Mari and I recently saw three movies: City of Ember, Inkheart, and Eagle Eye.

In hindsight, I should have visited rottentomatoes.com before seeing any of them.

City of Ember and Inkheart are adaptations from popular kids' books. They were both a bit slow in developing and somewhat disjointed in how the stories were presented. As with many books-turned-movies, they had interesting ideas but did not survive the transition to the big screen. I give City of Ember two stars and Inkheart one and a half stars.

Eagle Eye is a bad adaptation of a bad script. I give it one star for laughs.

Mormon Humor

2009-01-27T07:46:00.004-05:00

I recently discovered My Religious Blog, by Gatsby.

This stuff is pretty funny Mormon humor. And really funny Mormon humor is hard to come by. I know I'm not funny, although I thank everyone who has laughed at my attempts at humor.

Below are a couple posts lifted from his site.

Liahona Painting
I guess Arnold Friberg must have read the Liahona Study Guide...

"Ask it if Ishmael's daughter likes my furry vest."

Puns Of Perdition

I am thinking of starting a satelite TV network here in Utah.
It would be called Tight Like Unto A Dish Network and it wouldn't have Showtime or HBO.

A Stupor Of Thought
A lot of people think that because I haven’t mentioned which women’s deodorant I prefer, that there is some religious reason I don’t want to talk about it. But they’ve got it all wrong!

It’s not sacred.

It’s Secret.

A New TV Series
I am developing a new TV show for KBYU about a guy who heard the gospel in this life, but his brother didn’t. So after they die, he tries to help his brother get into paradise.

It’s called Spirit Prison Break.

Satan's Plan of Salvation

2009-01-08T12:06:00.000-05:00

I'd always been taught that in the premortal council in heaven, Satan proposed to save all mankind by forcing everyone to do good. He would destroy our agency by preventing us from making wrong choices. While this is possible, it does not entirely make sense to me. I propose that there is another plan Satan could have proposed to destroy our agency that is more consistent with the scriptures. What if Satan proposed to come to earth, suffer for our sins, and then forgive all mankind for all its sins? Satan would not require faith, obedience, or repentance to Heavenly Father's will. Instead, he would "save" everyone by destroying the law, consequences, and spiritual suffering for sin.

Moses 4:1 describes Satan's role in the council in heaven:

"And I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying: That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the beginning, and he came before me, saying—Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor."

In verse 3, God explains that Satan was cast down because he rebelled, sought to destroy man's agency, and sought God's own power.

Under the traditional theory of Satan's plan, this verse is a little confusing. Why would Satan say "I will be thy son"? And why would he offer to "redeem all mankind"? If he would not allow mankind to sin, why would we need to be redeemed?

I believe Satan was offering to be Heavenly Father's Only Begotten Son and suffer for our sins, just like Christ. In fact, earlier in Moses' vision, Satan tempted him and tried to get Moses to worship him. When Moses cast Satan out in Christ's name, "Satan cried with a loud voice, and ranted upon the earth, and commanded, saying: I am the Only Begotten, worship me."

Satan is a deceiver, but he is consistent. He wanted to be the Only Begotten in the premortal world, and he tried to convince Moses he was the Only Begotten in the mortal world.

Under Heavenly Father's plan, Jesus Christ would suffer for the sins of all mankind. His atonement is infinite and eternal, which I understand to mean not limited to a certain number of sins, but somehow encompassing all sin. All of our sins have been paid for, whether or not we repent. But because Heavenly Father seeks to build us up and to have us return to him, He chooses to forgive only those who repent. This is the only way any of Heavenly Father's children will return to Him. Satan and the billions of rebellious souls like him didn't like that idea. I imagine that Satan's argument may have gone something like this: "If all of our sins are paid for, why should anyone suffer for sin? I will go. I will be the redeemer. But I will forgive everyone. No one will suffer for sin. There will be no punishment."

Satan thought to "save" us (or at least himself and those who followed him) by destroying the consequences of sin. At best, his plan may have provided for a resurrection and possibly some degree of glory. However, his plan would have destroyed our agency, destroyed our chances of returning to live with Heavenly Father, and ultimately was inconsistent with the very existence of Heavenly Father. Because of Heavenly Father's character and purpose for us, he could not even consider Satan's plan. This theory of Satan's plan is not only more consistent with Moses 4:1, but it is also supported by scriptures that discuss how Satan deals with mankind. Under Satan's plan, there would have been no consequences for sin, and that is still his message today.

...

In conclusion, based on the present scriptural record, it is more likely that Satan offered to be a savior by suffering for our sins and forgiving all mankind than it is that he offered to save us by forcing us to do good. But I doubt Satan would have been able to follow through with his plan. We know that Christ suffered terrible anguish in Gethsemane for our sins because he loved us. I can imagine Satan feeling a part of that anguish, deciding it was too much and that we were not worth it, and getting up and walking away, while we all looked on in despair.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I recently put together a brief description of what I think Satan's plan was for us, based on the scant scriptural account. The above thoughts are an excerpt of the document, and the full document may be found here. Although it is a finished thought, it could probably still use some fleshing out. If anyone has comments, citations, or arguments in support of or against this idea, I would appreciate them.

New Ellsworth Family Blog

2009-01-04T18:41:00.000-05:00

We tried the family blog on the Mac, but it just didn't work out for us.

So here is the new Ellsworth Family Blog.

This blog (acellsworth.blogspot.com) will still be used for my personal ramblings and musings.

A Fond Memory of Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

2008-12-03T08:38:00.001-05:00

I prefer to incorporate life into my seminary lessons, rather than ignoring what is going on in the world to teach general principles. For example, lessons may incorporate elections, terrorist attacks, natural disasters, or any other event.

This morning I decided to have a lesson dedicated to Joseph B. Wirthlin. When I was young, I couldn't keep track of Apostles. They all sounded the same to me, and I'm sure my seminary kids aren't much different than I was at their age. So this morning, I put Elder Wirthlin's picture up, told the kids he had passed away (only two of them already knew), and I had a small quiz about Elder Wirthlin's life. Our quizzes consist of me tossing candy to the kids who answer correctly.

I used to tune out Elder Wirthlin when he spoke. His speech patterns were monotone, and I didn't (and sometimes I still don't) have the maturity to get past the speech patterns. But I have tremendously enjoyed Elder Wirthlin's recent General Conference talks.

This morning after the quiz, we watched "The Greatest Commandment," his October 2007 talk, in which he discusses our need to have charity. The most poignant moment of the talk was when he started shaking severely, and Elder Nelson quietly stood up behind Elder Wirthlin and braced him. Elder Wirthlin's words were powerful. His determination to share his message even though he was clearly exhausted got the kids' attention. But they all remembered Elder Nelson's small, simple act of kindness of supporting his dear friend. That act taught Elder Wirthlin's principle more forcefully than words alone could possibly do. I teared up the first time I watched the talk, and I teared up a little this morning, reliving the moment and remembering Elder Wirthlin.

After a brief discussion about charity and apostles, I shared with the kids the knowledge I have that Elder Wirthlin was an Apostle of God.

I thank God for Elder Wirthlin. I'll miss him.

Is the "Eye of a Needle" a door in a wall?

2008-11-19T11:56:00.000-05:00

"24 And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a ^arich man to enter into the kingdom of God." (Matt. 19:24)

I was once taught that Jesus wasn't referring to a literal needle, but rather to a small door in a wall. A camel could get through the door, but it would have to shed its cargo, get on its knees, and crawl through. (Can camels crawl?) It's a compelling narrative, but it seems to be a hoax. I have found no reputable source showing that such a door existed in Jesus's day, and many sources state that there was no such door.

While there are many interpretations of the scripture, I believe it is hyperbole. Christ sometimes exaggerates to prove a point, such as "And if thy right eye ^aoffend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee." (Matt. 5:29)

In the case of the camel and the eye of the needle, it's going to be very difficult for rich people to follow Jesus, because we love our stuff/comfort/leisure (most Americans are rich by the standards in Christ's day). This interpretation is supported by the subsequent verses:

"25 When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved? 26 ^aBut Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are ^bpossible" (Matt. 19: 25-26)

It is impossible for us to be saved on our own. We sin. In the context of Matt. 19:26, we covet other things more that God. Only through the grace of Christ are we saved. Through repentence we learn to shed our things (and our pride), as necessary, until we are what God wants us to be.

Book Review: Ender in Exile

2008-11-19T09:29:00.000-05:00

Orson Scott Card's new book, Ender in Exile, was an entertaining read. He said it was probably his best book in the series, but of course, he was wrong, because his best book was Ender's Game.

The story picks up near the end of Ender's Game, before Ender heads off to colonize another world. The story is in Card's easy-to-read conversational style (he calls it "American Plain Style", and apparently it's an actual literary style; but being an engineer, I wouldn't know), and the characters are faithful to the other books in the series. I enjoyed the quick tempo of the book, but I wish it was just a little slower. I wish the book had been a little richer, with more challenges for the characters. For example, Ender's conflict with the starship captain could have gotten far more interesting than it did. I felt like the climax of the book was about 80 pages too early, and then Card told a second story at the end. They were both entertaining, but they didn't flow together very well, and both of them could have been fleshed out into separate books.

So while I enjoyed the book, and recommend it to anyone who enjoys Card's stuff (it's closer in tone to Ender's Game than Xenocide), it wasn't his Opus. This book made me want to go back and read the rest of the series.

Movie Review: Ghost Town

2008-11-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

Mari and I went to see Ghost Town yesterday, on the recommenation of D&J (I think).

We liked it. The plot = Ghost + Sixth Sense + Ghost Dad + (insert ghost movie here). The characters were enjoyable, especially Dr. Pincus-played by Ricky Gervais. He's a snarky dentist who finds out he can talk to dead people. One thing leads to another and... the end.

The script is very well-written and very funny. They drop two F-bombs, which are probably why the movie is PG-13. The movie is generally funny, but also has sappy sweet moments that are not overdone.

It's not in theatres everywhere anymore, so if it isn't in theatres near you, pick it up when it comes out on DVD. You'll have fun.

Anatomy of a Media Bias Poll

2008-10-29T14:27:00.001-04:00

As you can imagine, I get a lot of "media bias" experts reading my blog. This one's for them.

Recently, a study came out that showed McCain had far more negative coverage than Obama. "That proves it!" I said. "Liberal media bias!"
"Not so fast," they said. "The coverage was negative because McCain's campaign wasn't doing well."
So let me get this straight: to gauge media bias, someone counted how many positive and negative stories were written about each candidate? Am I the only one that sees the uselessness of this study?

For all my media bias expert friends, let me tell you how to put together a "media bias" study:

Determine how an organization reports, or fails to report, similar situations of candidates of both parties. If they don't report the same way for each party, there may be bias.

If McCain is closing in on Obama, but he is still down, do they report, "McCain down 3" or is it "McCain closing the gap" or "Voters moving to McCain." Do they report it differently for each candidate? If so, there may be bias.

If two candidates are inexperienced, is their inexperience lampooned equally in the editorial pages? Is it reported equally? If not, there may be bias.

If two candidates (or spouses) have done drugs, is it reported the same? If not, there may be bias.

Are unsubstantiated rumors about both candidates given the same amount of attention? If not, there may be bias.

If, after answering these questions and more, you determine that there is a pattern of reporting similar situations differently (e.g. with either a positive or negative slant), then you have proven that there is media bias.

Has no one done this study? (If it has been done, has it been reported?)

Judgement Day Is Nothing Like An Ice Cream Sunday

2008-10-20T12:39:00.000-04:00

We learned in yesterday's priesthood lesson about the degrees of glory we may receive when we are resurrected. The teacher asked if those who did not receive celestial glory would forever be in torment. I suggested they would not. I believe that everyone will receive the glory, and corresponding existence, they truly want. As Moroni said concerning those who did not believe in Christ, "Behold, I say unto you that ye would be more miserable to dwell with a holy and just God, under a consciousness of your filthiness before him, than ye would to dwell with the damned souls in hell."

I believe we will receive the glory of the law we are willing to live.

It is true, we may torment ourselves in this life and in the next, as we prepare for judgement and consider the joys we may have attained and the Father we rejected. But come judgement, I believe everyone will be satisfied with their final lot.

In church, I gave a much shorter answer than that, but that was the gist.

Then another guy raised his hand, who likes ice cream a lot more than I.

"Hank," he asked. "What's your favorite ice cream?"

"I don't know. Maybe chocolate."

"With hot fudge?"

"I guess."

"How would you feel if I was sitting here eating chocolate ice cream with hot fudge, and you had plain old vanilla?"

And I thought to myself, "I wouldn't care, no, not one bit. But you shouldn't be eating ice cream in the primary room."

The judgement of God is not like ice cream. The atonement is not like a pickle.

My weakness is that I don't appreciate these types of simple analogies, while those who are newer to our faith and struggle with the concepts find them very helpful. While I was rolling my eyes, a gentleman at the front of the class said, "What that brother said, that was right on." And I knew he wasn't talking about me.

No such thing as a mustard tree?

2008-10-14T20:44:00.000-04:00

In Matthew 13, Jesus likens the kingdom of heaven to a mustard seed, "but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof."

(Jesus also likened faith to a mustard seed, but didn't talk about it turning into a tree.)

So has anyone ever seen a mustard tree? A Google search turned up a number of Oak Trees, and this picture of a guy standing next to... a bush.

So why did Christ say the mustard seed grows into a tree?

One explanation is that the growth of the kingdom of heaven is miraculous, growing beyond what would be expected.

Another might be that Christ was talking about a large mustard bush that could handle birds.

I like the former explanation, but who knows for sure?

Let me know if you have a better idea.

Nurture vs. Nature

2008-10-08T15:29:00.000-04:00

I'm not a big fan of bathroom humor. Most fart jokes, poo jokes, etc. etc. just make me groan. Mari, being the decent woman she is, has never passed gas in her life.

So we were very surprised the other day when Des passed gas then looked at us and laughed. I didn't teach him to laugh at farts-he just instinctively knew it was funny.

So why is bathroom humor instinctively funny? And if it is natural to find it funny, should we really be unlearning the funniness of it as we grow older? Should the rules of etiquette be revised to account for what seems to be a natural an irrevocable law that bathroom humor is funny from birth?

What does "Keep the Commandments" mean?

2008-09-24T14:22:00.000-04:00

If Christ "fulfilled the law," and Christians no longer follow the law of Moses (e.g., circumcision is no longer necessary for membership in the kingdom, we eat pork, we pick up sticks on the sabbath, we don't raise up seed unto our brother, etc.), why do we still keep the Ten Commandments?

When we speak of keeping the commandments, why do we often cite the Ten, rather than the Two?

Or why don't we recite the Sermon on the Mount, for that matter?

(Side Note: I memorized the Sermon on the Mount when I was a teen-ager. I didn't stop to think that I couldn't do it because it was too long. I just memorized one verse at a time until I was done.)

What ever happened to the Perpetual Education Fund?

2008-09-19T13:00:00.000-04:00

Why is it that all the information put out about the perpetual education fund seems to be between 3 years and 7 years old?

I think it's an exciting program, and would love to read stories of those who have benefitted from it, but the PEF website has stories from 2001 (when the program started).

From what I can find, there were a couple stories in a recent Church News.

Wikipedia has some potential statistics, but citations to the Deseret News are not archived, so you get today's stories, rather than PEF statistics.

A 2004 pdf sheet based on a meeting with Elder Richard Cook is informative.

Comments on a blog posted December 31, 2007 cite trouble with PEF in Peru.

Elder Carmack gave a speech at the BYU Kennedy Center that cites some success stories (see from 27:20 on).

And in the Deseret News, some goofball indignantly proclaims, "My wife and I agree: No more settlement meetings until we see some figures." I think he's trying to pass himself off as a Mormon. (The story he is commenting on is the one from the Church News, above.)

I'd love more information about the program. I'd love to hear of its successes and failures. I'd love to hear about trouble in Peru, success in Guatemala, entry into new countries, etc. I'd love to hear stories from participants, Bishops, and General Authorities. But mostly, I hear nothing. If I cannot get daily updates, how about monthly, or even yearly? Biannually?

At the very least, couldn't some intern just update the website with stories that are less than seven years old?!

Do I have Legolas in me?

2008-07-22T14:57:00.000-04:00

Have you ever looked at an old coin and wondered where it had been?

Well today I ate an apple with a sticker that said, "product of New Zealand." And I thought, I have New Zealand carbon being assimilated into my body right now. Will some native New Zealander long dead and turned to dust be resurrected with carbon from my body because I ate an apple from a tree that grew on his grave?

Did Orlando Bloom's skin cells, lost during filming of Lord of the Rings, enter the earth that the tree used as nutrition, so that I have Legolas in me right now? I do feel like I can see farther. If there was snow nearby, I'd try walking on top of it, like Legolas did.

This is even better than travelling to New Zealand. Rather than travelling, I'll just eat something from every country I want to go to. That way, they'll be a part of me, and I won't have to travel! Why "see" a country when I can "be" a country?!

Would we have a United States if the early colonists had included Mormons?

2008-07-09T10:05:00.000-04:00

Would Mormons have risen up to fight against England?

As Mormons, we believe in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law and being subject to earthly governments. We are anti-war, but support those who volunteer to serve the U.S. in the military.

Given our pro-government, anti-war positions, would Mormon settlers have advocated a peaceful resolution to any conflicts with King George, rather than violent revolution?

And they've never had a fight!

2008-06-23T11:08:00.000-04:00

I'm sure Desi wishes he had been born into a less tumultuous home. Mari and I had a big fight last night. Let's take a listen...

Me, "Ow, he's biting my nose! Man, his jaws are strong!"

Mari, "Well he wouldn't be biting my nose if you hadn't taught him how!"

Me, "Oh, please! Biting noses is instinctive for infants!"

Mari, "No it's not! I used to be able to kiss him without him opening up to chomp my nose!"

Me, "Oh, whatever!"

Desi, "Ahhh!"

Mari, "Let's not fight in front of the baby!"

Me, "You're right. We're sorry, son."

[Smooch, smooch, cuddle, cuddle]

A clever telemarketer

2008-06-16T12:36:00.000-04:00

I got a call today from a foreign-sounding telemarketer with a California number. It went something like this:

Me: Hello?

[Long pause as telemarketing maching patches through operator]

TM: May I speak with Peter?

"I'm afraid you have the wrong number."

"Oh, this is XXX from YYY. May I speak with the Office Manager?"

"This is a large law firm. I'm not sure who you want to talk to."

"Oh, may I speak with Attorney Wimberly?"

"Wimberly?! Huh?"

"How about Attorney Wadsworth?"

"Wimberly?! Wadsworth?! Are you making this up?"

"Oh, OK. Thank you for your time. Good-bye."

"Bye."

Maybe you aren't chuckling like I was. But if she was making that up, I have to congratulate her. Wimberly and Wadsworth...

Iron Man, Prince Caspian, My Book

2008-05-29T14:54:00.000-04:00

We went to see two movies recently.

Iron Man (4/5 stars)
I liked it quite a bit. It had good characters, a reasonable amount of action mixed with intrigue. Good acting and script. In all, it was quite entertaining.

Prince Caspian (3/5 stars)
Although entertaining, I didn't feel attached to any of the characters like I had in the first movie. I love Edmund and Peter's armor though (I'm a bit of a Medieval armor fan), and that probably adds a half star to any movie.

Edmund is still my favorite character of the lot. He's grown since the first film (character-wise), and Skandar Keynes puts in a solid performance in this film. There were far fewer "shocked" facial shots of Lucy in this film (thank heavens), and Susan actually killed and wounded men with her bow and arrows. It was definitely a little bit darker (although not bloodier; there's still no blood, which I don't mind) than the first film.

In all, I felt like there was too much battle and not enough compelling storytelling, but it was entertaining.

I finished Kate Elliott's Crown of Stars series. Although I mostly enjoyed it, she spent far too much time talking about people and things I didn't care about. The resolution was mildly satisfying (and mildly unsatisfying). I don't feel a loss after finishing the last book, but neither do I feel like I have wasted time. The series gets 3/5 book stars.

One positive result of Elliott's series is that I have pumped out many new ideas (not based on Elliott's books, rather based on "hey, if that can get published, I can get published") for my own fantasy novel. I'm liking my storylines more and more, but any finished or even semi-finished product is a long way off. I'm not quitting my day job.

JayWalk Allstars

2008-05-21T18:11:00.000-04:00

Need 5 minutes of laughs? Try this

http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/video/episodes.shtml

The Jaywalk Allstars portion is the second section of the episode, and it's very funny. I'm off to watch the next round!

Book Reviews

2008-05-19T13:22:00.001-04:00

I consider myself very well-read. If Washington DC is ever attacked by scaly dragon-like men with vicious hound companions, I will know how to defend myself. That is thanks to Kate Elliott's "Crown of Stars" series. I'm presently enjoying book 5 of the 7-book fantasy series. It has some fascinating plotlines and some real yawners. Thanks to my superior skimming abilities, I was able to read over 200 pages just last night. I don't feel obligated to read every word if the words aren't interesting me.

It's a lot like Sunday School. But that's a post for another day. (Harley King gave a great talk in church on Sunday in which he looked right at me and said, "Adam, go to all three hours of meetings," and I thought to myself, "I like Harley. Maybe I will. But then I thought, "No, no I won't.")

Back to the book. It's set in a fantasy-Europe Midievel (sp?) period. It has rich characters and history, very loosely based on actual history. I highly recommend it for enjoyers of fantasy.

And if we find ourselves in the midst of interplanetary outer-space intrigue, I am the go-to guy. This is thanks to the "Honor Harrington" series by David Weber, which begins with the book "Basilisk Station." The highlights of these books are the intergalactic starship battles that are described in meticulous detail. Most of the rest is a bit sappy. I think some websites refer to it as "space opera." Honor is just too good and too successful at every turn to be believable. Still, I think I've read 5 books in the series so far, and I'll return some day to keep reading. I really like them space battles.

And if non-fiction is your thing... well, I don't tend to do so well with non-fiction. I recently picked up "Liberal Fascism" by Jonah Goldberg at Costco. It discusses how present day "progressives" are descendents from early fascists, and how Hitler, Communism, and Mousolinni were all different brands of fascism. The fascinating thing about the theorum is that it flies in the face of "common knowledge." On the other hand, I could see a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on the subject and feel satisfied. It's interesting, but not that interesting.

Not into book-learnin'? We took Des to see Iron Man last week. He started fussing early, and I took him out to change his diaper, so I missed the first 15 minutes or so. But Mari came and got me, and he fell asleep in her arms in the theatre, and I enjoyed the rest of the movie. Well-acted, well-written, interesting story. I recommend it.

One Perk of Being a Patent Attorney

2008-05-07T14:39:00.000-04:00

If any of your children have the constitution for it, I recommend being a patent attorney.

I get 1-2 headhunter calls every day. And while it may be annoying sometimes, it's a real boost to my sense of professional worth.

I'm happy where I am, but if I ever wanted to move, there are a lot of people who want to help me do so.

Anatomy of an Easter Talk

2008-03-26T09:40:00.000-04:00

I was standing in the church hallway with my father-in-law, when Bro. Rodriguez approached me and handed me a paper. It was an invitation to give a talk about the resurrection the following Sunday (Easter Sunday). Although my schedule is a little full right now, I gratefully accepted. I thoroughly enjoy giving talks. I love learning and feeling gospel principles, and then communicating those feelings to an audience.

I prepared the best I knew how in only one week. Sunday through Wednesday, I searched out resurrection topics and talks. My goal in the first stage is to examine all the different angles and approaches to the resurrection. Also, since I have never been resurrected, I needed to think of personal stories that could be analogous, if not directly applicable. Looking at many different talks and scriptures helps bring experiences and topics to my mind.

I put the pen to paper on the Metro on Wednesday and Thursday. Remarkably, the talk did not undergo any serious revisions between the original and the final version. I added and deleted thoughts and sentences, but all the major elements stayed the same.

The talk that landed on the paper was not just about the time around the resurrection of Christ and the Second Coming, rather it took a broad view of the reasons for the resurrection in light of the whole plan of salvation. At one point, I second-guessed the broad-view talk, and tried to think how I could focus it more on the resurrection itself. I failed. I couldn't change the talk. I needed pre-mortal life to show that resurrection was a culminating step in a long (eternal) process.

I do not know why the title "A Blood-Soaked Christ" stuck with me. I was concerned that it was too theatrical and "shocking" to keep this most sacred subject sacred. But I have not been able to think of an adequate alternative. However, I did add the sub-title, paraphrasing Elder Neal Maxwell, to clarify why the blood-soaked Christ is key to the resurrection: "Mankind's Grip on Immortality."

Finally, since I only had a week to prepare, I had no scriptural references in the talk, other than the scriptures that are actually embedded in the text. I've spent the last few days adding footnotes, which GoogleDocs transformed into endnotes. Endnotes help to keep the flow of the text smooth, but I prefer chopping it up with tangential thoughts in footnotes.

With no further ado, for anyone interested, here is the talk:

A Blood-Soaked Christ: Mankind's Grip On Immortality

Desmond James, Welcome to Planet Earth

2008-03-11T13:53:00.000-04:00

Desi technically arrived on planet Earth Wednesday night. That's when he took his first breaths anyway.

I was suprised by his thick head of dark, almost black, hair.

Six days later, he is opening his eyes, and he looks like a little Mon-Chi-Chi clinging to Mari's or Maricel's shoulder.

Yesterday I had a fever, so I couldn't touch him. It was a travesty, because I can't get enough of him. He's tiny and chubby and quiet. In fact, he slept through the night last night. That's a trend I would love to see continue.

So last night I just lay down on the bed and watched him sleep. My sister recently said in an email that she could just sit and watch a baby sleep. It was so true last night. Infants are amazing. They are so tiny, so new, so helpless, and so fragile. I found myself watching Desi's blanket to make sure it kept rising and falling with his breath. I stared at his tiny face, the veins in his tiny eyelids, and his mini-spasms and sneezes. I could've watched all night.

Why are babies so enthralling? Part of it is the miraculous nature of human life. We're reminded of it when babies are born, and when loved ones die. How do eyes work? I mean, really. How can light be interpreted by a brain to create a picture. How can "pictures" be stored in a brain? How does one cell know that it's the edge of the liver, and the next cell knows that it is fat? And look at those tiny fingers! Amazing.

Also, a baby's life feels tenuous. Between SIDS, an undeveloped immune system, and myriad potential problems that a baby's body may not be able to handle, I feel myself willing Desi to be strong, to keep breathing, to keep feeding, etc. If we can just get him to a point where we can warn him of dangers, maybe I'll feel more secure. But then he'll be running...

And then there's the dependence. This miraculous creature is 100% dependent on me - OK, on mom; but kind of dependent on me helping out mom. This is a massive responsibility. When accepted, it is a wonderful and purpose-inspiring task. My life is now going to be directed to helping this kid survive and get worldly and spiritual tools to thrive. When the responsibility is rejected, it is a tragedy. Children do not choose to have parents; but parents most definitly choose to have children (even if by negligence). Rejecting parental responsibility can result in destroying or scarring young lives. Desi is blessed. Not only are his parents looking out for him, but he has strong support groups of family and friends.

A baby also represents potential. What will this kid do? What will he like? Will he be smart? Will he have a keen spiritual understanding? Will seek political position, a cozy desk job, or an adventurous job as a safari tour guide in Mozambique? Who do I know that he will be able to marry in a couple decades? What will the world be like in a couple of decades when he is grown?

All these thoughts ran through my head as I lay on my bed - watching, but not holding - Desi, as his little blanket rose and fell with each sleepy breath.

I just can't win

2008-02-14T09:38:00.000-05:00

When I was a young wart-hog, I remember a Chuck E. Cheese commercial in which a kid is having a bad day, and dejectedly tells his mom, "I just can't win." So of course she takes him to Chuck E. Cheese and all is well.

Well I was in my company's gym the other day, and they were having a raffle. All you had to do is put your name on the card and drop it in the jar and you could win a Steptoe & Johnson towel, or hat, or something. Sweet.

So the submissions ended at 4 pm, and at 3:45pm I put my card in the jar. And I was the only card in the jar! I was a shoe-in! I was so excited, I called M. to say how we were going to win the grand S&J prize.

Four o'clock came and went, and then 5 o'clock and 6 o'clock. No one called me to congratulate me. I was in a contest of one (possibly two, if there was a late entry), and I lost. How pathetic is that!

The Children are Fighting

2008-02-07T12:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we had a bit of a fight in our house. Phyllis is still upset.

You see, we asked Roomba to vacuum every day, usually in the morning while we teach seminary. He does a great job, by the way.

Unfortunately, this morning Phyllis was relaxing in her pot with her vines hanging out all over. Well, one of those vines was in Roomba's way.

You guessed it, he broke it right off. She was furious, but being a potted plant, there was nothing she could do but sulk.

Although Roomba is usually very well behaved (he doesn't fall down the stairs, he doesn't chew up power cords, he doesn't leave dirt on the floor unless he has a full diaper - I mean, filter) he has had problems in the past.

For example, we have an 18" tall penguin that M. is going to finish painting soon, and has been going-to-finish-painting-soon since November... but I digress. We have an 18" penguin that was hanging out near the door in the office one day when we sent Roomba in to do his thing. When we came back an hour later, the penguin was in the corner, facing the corner like a kid on time-out. But being an inanimate object, he couldn't do anything about it. It was very sad.

I've been searching online for a Roomba whisperer, like the dog-whisperer, to help Roomba get along with our plants and penguins, but I haven't found anything yet.

P.S. I cannot wait until they invent a Roomba lawnmower. Cha-ching!

Big Babies

2008-01-31T15:07:00.000-05:00

Despite the title, this isn't about politics.

We went to the doc today, and Des was hiding his face with his hand. "No pictures please!"

But that wasn't so alarming as his size. The boy is (estimated to be) over 6 pounds, and Mari's not due until March 10. Don't they say the baby does most of his growing in the last 2 months?

I'm not sure, because I stopped reading baby books months ago. I will be the most uninformed father I know. I'm just going to follow my instincts!

But I digress... The doc was shocked, because Mari was only a 6 pound baby at birth. Her brothers were 6 and 7 pounds, respectively, and her mom was a small baby. Apparently baby size is only passed through the mother. But I told doc that Ellsworth genes were very dominating. (Dominant is the usual term, but in this case I think dominating was appropriate).

So Mari is scared at the size of this boy, and the docs may induce a little early. I'm just happy all our food is nourishing and strengthening Des's body, just like we prayed for.

Big, healthy babies: painful coming out, but wonderful to have and hold.

When a Prophet Dies

2008-01-28T14:47:00.000-05:00

I was threading the last loop on my tie early this morning, when Mari came into our bedroom a little teary-eyed.

"President Hinckley died," she said.

I was a little shocked, but not very sad. Although I loved and admired President Hinckley, I didn't know him personally, so I didn't feel a personal loss. And I felt like, at 97, that's as good a time to die as any. He had lived a long, full life; he served the Church well; and I learned things from him that made me a better person.

Mari, it seemed, was more emotionally invested in the Prophet. I love that about her.

In seminary, we talked about his death with the kids. We noted that, in the Old Testament when a prophet or judge died, often the people fell back into apostacy. But not us. Our church rolls on.

We talked about succession - how the next President of the Church will be Elder Monson (and not because he's the First Counselor in the First Presidency). Perhaps it doesn't have to be this way, i.e. it's not written in scripture that the longest-serving Apostle will be the next President, but that's how it is and how it has been since the Church began. (I think-was Brigham Young the longest-serving Apostle?) Well, if not Brigham, than that's the way it's been done since Brigham Young.

We then had the kids write a little journal entry about what they remember about President Hinckley. I figure, I can do the same thing here.

I enjoyed President Hinckley's straight-forward way of speaking. He didn't use much fluff in his talks, but he always spoke from his heart. He's not my favorite speaker (Elder Holland is), but I did enjoy listening to him. But that's judging my favorite speaker by speech style. I can't really say which Church leader has had the most impact on how I live. I just don't know the answer.

President Hinckley introduced the policy of building many mini-temples throughout the world. I remember watching conference on a TV in Puerto Rico when he made the announcement. I was so excited, because I remember Dad had told of an experience, I believe in a temple-worker meeting, in which President Kimball had said he envisioned the day when smaller temples would be built next to stake centers, so we could do our family history work and then go next door and do the ordinances for our families.

He also instituted the Perpetual Education Fund (how's that going, anyway? I loved hearing the stories early on).

Also, he was a little irreverent. He challenged Elder Haight to a duel in conference, and "knighted" Elder Eyring after he was sustained as a member of the First Presidency. Scandalous.

I will miss President Hinckley - he's been in the First Presidency of my church for as long as I've been paying attention. He's taught me much, and he'll be in my memories forever.

But I don't think I'll cry. We weren't tight like that.

When is a compliment an insult?

2008-01-15T11:34:00.000-05:00

Have you ever received a compliment that made you feel like dirt?

Yesterday, a judge told our legal team, "This case was very well litigated. You can be proud of the job you've done, and your client was well represented."

He then denied our client's asylum claim, which, if she is deported (we're appealing, of course), may very well be a death sentence. A brutal, agonizing death sentence.

Like strawberry cheesecake, the words were sweet when they entered by body and tasted like... well, you know... when digested.

I never want to be a judge. I don't think I'd smile, except maybe a nervous smile from time to time.

I was unconsolable yesterday when I got home. I highly recommend the institution of marriage, for the support it provides, among its many benifits. As Mari's head rested on my chest, her breathing soft and even, I was still punching away on my Blackberry, drafting notes to myself of arguments I might raise on appeal.

Appeals are tough, because the court does not look at the whole record again, rather it just looks to see if there is evidence to support the lower court's ruling.

If you want the truth, don't look to the courts. Seriously. They are not designed to arrive at the truth. It's like two men have a disagreement. They decide, "Let's fight, and whomever wins is right." They fight, one wins, he's right. Courts are set up similarly. You have two sides. One side presents a story, and the other side attacks the story. The opponent is not interested in the truth, because that would involve discussion, corroboration, gathering as much evidence as possible. Instead, each side tries to limit evidence that can be presented in court by their opponent, and include as much evidence as they can for their side.

What's the deal with my name?

2008-01-10T10:13:00.000-05:00

I'm going to commit blog taboo by putting my whole name out there: Adams Ellsworth! Seriously, what is it with my name that makes people add an "s" on the end of "Adam"? Everyone does it. Just yesterday, the librarian at my lawfirm spelled my name "Adams Bellsworth." The "B" I understand, because the "m" could in some occasions produce sufficient stoppage to generate a "b" sound. Try it. But the "s"? It comes from nowhere.

I mean, has anyone ever met someone with a first name of "Adams"? Madison, maybe. Jefferson, Clinton, perhaps even Roosevelt. But Adams? Not I.

And yet for some reason people feel a compulsion to add an "s" on the end of my first name. It has happened all my life. As far as I know, my siblings don't suffer from the same name-disease. I wonder if my name has a subconcious power to cross neural pathways.

I like that thought. My name has special powers. They aren't very powerful yet, but even so, you can't resist them, can you?

And what might happen if those powers grow...? Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

or is it Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha?

Christmas, Sissel, and MoTab

2007-12-27T09:22:00.000-05:00

We arrived at D&J's on Christmas Eve. We stopped at a corner antique store on the way in and bought a few children's books for Junior. Pete's Dragon, The Secret of Nymh, and Peter Cottontail were among the titles we finally decided on, although there were many other good ones. I put back Puss in Boots - I think I only picked it up because I like Puss in Boots in the Shrek movies. I don't even know the original story.

Dinner at the Melting Pot was delicious, although I am sure it was far more frustrating for me than for Dan, Julee, and Mari. My batter kept falling off, my ravioli stuck to the bottom of the pot, the pot was crowded with all these stick-things, and all the main courses were oily, probably due to the fact that we were cooking them in oil.

But the food was still delicious, and the cheese and chocolate dips were heavenly.

Christmas Day arrived pleasantly. Mari was already up and Dan was hammering away at something downstairs (rocking chairs on the front porch). We took some pictures and opened our presents. We ate a delicious breakfast of homemade biscuits, gravy, and other stuff, and after presents, Dan and I watched the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas performances from the last few years.

Renee Fleming's voice was beautiful. Audra McDonald's was rich and deep with feeling. But the one that blew us away, that I wanted to listen to over and over, and that gave me chills was Sissel. When she opened with In the Bleak Midwinter, our eyes were riveted on the TV screen. Her voice was so clear and so solid - it was breathtaking. Her next Norwegian numbers were equally beautiful, if not more so. We sat mesmerized, spellbound, each time she sang. Her voice floated and danced on top of the rich and deep currents of music sung by the choir. I was amazed at the size of the choir and its precision, and I was blown away by the way Sissel's clear and perfect voice complemented the richness of the choir.

Honestly, I do not think I have ever heard such a beautiful voice, or such a beautiful combination. It's no wonder the CD is #1 on Billboard's classical chart and has been nominated for 2 Grammy's. FYI, although you may not know who she is, you have definitely heard Sissel before, since she sang some of the haunting numbers in Titanic.

Well, after watching some MoTab, we ate a delicious lunch.

We watched A Christmas Story and relaxed for a while. Then we watched a few SNL Christmas skits, and although they were funny, I think they detracted from the beautiful Christmas I had enjoyed to that point.

We talked a lot, and towards the end of the day, we pulled out the Thanksgiving puzzle. We made some good progress, and hated to leave, but work calls...

What a great Christmas! Next year, it won't be quite so quiet since both of our families will be slightly larger.

Why don't I have a cat?

2007-12-19T12:48:00.000-05:00

Why don't I have a cat? Because cats poop. Every time I see a cute cat, my heart melts. They're soft and cuddly and do their cat things. But I am not a fan of litterboxes, so we will never have a cat unless we have a pet door so it can go outside and do its business.

The same is true for dogs of course - about pooping outside, that is. In the dirt, not the lawn.

I like dogs, too, although they don't tug at my heart like cats. I don't know why.

Also, cats leave fur around, which wouldn't be too much of a problem for us, because we keep things pretty clean (and Mari's Christmas present will help with that, wink, wink). But Mari's dad is allergic to pet fur, so we're reluctant to get a non-hypoallergenic pet.

Mari also points out that Dan is allergic to cats, but I told her he would be offended if we failed to buy a cat on his account.

At any rate, no pets until after the baby.

Gesu Bambino

2007-12-17T09:18:00.000-05:00

This sunday I was able to fulfill a dream of mine - to play Gesu Bambino.

When Mari and I were engaged and I was at an internship in Germany, I had more time on my hands than I was used to, without a computer to play on. So I decided to learn to play the recorder. I had this Nordstrom Christmas CD with a bunch of great instrumental versions of Christmas songs, and my favorite was Gesu Bambino, performed with a soprano recorder, and alto recorder, and a piano.

So I bought a nice wood recorder and learned to play the soprano recorder portion of the song, note by note. But I haven't been able to find another recorder player, or more specifically, an alto recorder player, until this year.

When I found out that our ward clerk, Bill Hanton, played the recorder, I talked to him about playing together, and he sounded interested. The only problem was, I only had the CD to go by, and Bill, like most people, needed written music. Also, the music isn't available online, and I wasn't able to contact the composer. So I listened to the CD and entered the notes into a program.

The alto recorder part was pretty easy to write, but the piano part was very hard. I'm not a great musician, and I had a hard time picking out all the notes. But eventually, I was able to pull out enough notes that it sounded very good and very close to the actual music. I wasn't able to get the music to Bob Hoover (our pianist) until about 3 weeks before our performance.

Well, we performed yesterday in church, and it was very good. We had one glaring mistake, but I didn't mind in light of the whole performance. That's just part of being an amatuer, I think. I loved it, and was just glad to be able to play with Bill and Bob after 6 years of dreaming.

Now I'm hoping to find another recorder player, and maybe we can perform as a recorder trio. I really like practicing, and I love having variety in the types of music I hear at church.

Huck Rising

2007-12-11T09:15:00.000-05:00

Although I liked Huck in the early debates, his recent rise in popularity is extremely disturbing to me. And while I don't think he'd be a good president, that's only part of the reason. The main reason is personal: Huck is riding a wave of anti-Mormon sentiment among evangelical Christians, and he doesn't quelch it. In fact, he makes every effort to court evangelicals through their shared faith, rather than their shared Christian values.

Huck, himself, will never say anything overtly anti-Mormon. The "Christian leader" reference in his recent commercial , which I believe was a thinly veiled differentiation between his Christian religion and that of his main rival in Iowa, Romney ("not Christian"), was as close as Huck will get. But the rhetoric coming from Huck supporters is starting to get to me. It makes me wonder why I stick with a political party whose members insist I'm a member of a cult that disqualifies me for public office-or at least the highest public office.

Interestingly, Huck had this to say in a recent NY Times article:

"It was time when I realized that a lot of people, evangelicals, had sort of been pushed aside, had been considered as almost disenfranchised citizens," Huckabee said. "They were to go to church, pay their taxes, and shut up and just be happy with what was going on, even if it violated everything they truly believed in."

The irony is bitter, since now I feel I am being disenfranchized by Huckabee on the basis of my religion.

Now, I support Romney. I would love to see what he would do with our federal government. I think he would have an open and efficient government and would make wise choices. Still, I understand those who can't trust him because they think his conversion to pro-life and the change in rhetoric regarding homosexuality are too fresh and timely to be sincere. That's a perfectly reasonable reason to oppose Romney.

But when voters attack Romney's religion, I get angry. Because I don't think I want to be a part of a party of religious bigots, but I don't think I want to be a part of a party that supports widespread abortion. And I'm definitely not a libertarian.

Essentially, I'm left without political representation. Is this how democrats felt during the Bush years?

I said I don't think that Huck would make a good president. The reason the religious attacks are more important to me is that the presidential election will come and go. Someone will win, and I'll survive. But my political party will stay around after the election is over. Do I stay in the party of bigots, do I jump ship, or do I somehow try to influence my party to shed its bigotry against me?

Decorating for Christmas

2007-12-10T11:54:00.000-05:00

So I went to put up our Christmas lights on Saturday. I started by the garage because that's where we're going to plug them in, and ran them along the roof. We're about one string short of covering the whole front roof, so I'll have to buy some more.

So I went to try to plug them in, and realized that the Christmas lights had a non-ground outlet and our extension chord had a ground pin.

So I got a ground/non-ground adapter, only it had one large prong and one small (like many appliance plugs). Our Christmas lights have two small prong holes.

So I filed down the adapter prong until I had two small prongs. Then it hit me.

I put up the Christmas lights backwards. I put the female plug by the garage and the male at the opposite end of the house.

Ay ay ay.

Wild Times on Sioux Ln

2007-12-10T11:44:00.000-05:00

So we were playing a dice game with Keith and Mary Ann Wonnacott (sp?) and Steve and Dion (sp?) Farnes. You rolled two dice in a cup and looked at the dice. You could call out the numbers on the dice in either order ("6" and "1" could be "16" or "61"). Or you could make up a number. The next person had to then either challenge you or take the cup and roll themselves. The trick is, the number they call out must be higher than the number you call out. (and doubles are higher than any non-doubles number; and a "1" and a "2" automatically wins).

So here we are all rolling and Steve shook up the cup, peeked into it, and shook it a little more. We laughed for a good long time at that, since you have to keep whatever you roll. Plus, he's our ex-bishop, so his "cheating" was especially funny. To be fair, he said one of the dice was an edger, so he was trying to make it lie flat.

Mari and I weren't any good at bluffing, so Mari was out pretty early. I was lucky, because I rolled well enough that I didn't have to bluff.