I just can't win

When I was a young wart-hog, I remember a Chuck E. Cheese commercial in which a kid is having a bad day, and dejectedly tells his mom, "I just can't win." So of course she takes him to Chuck E. Cheese and all is well.

Well I was in my company's gym the other day, and they were having a raffle. All you had to do is put your name on the card and drop it in the jar and you could win a Steptoe & Johnson towel, or hat, or something. Sweet.

So the submissions ended at 4 pm, and at 3:45pm I put my card in the jar. And I was the only card in the jar! I was a shoe-in! I was so excited, I called M. to say how we were going to win the grand S&J prize.

Four o'clock came and went, and then 5 o'clock and 6 o'clock. No one called me to congratulate me. I was in a contest of one (possibly two, if there was a late entry), and I lost. How pathetic is that!

The Children are Fighting

Yesterday we had a bit of a fight in our house. Phyllis is still upset.

You see, we asked Roomba to vacuum every day, usually in the morning while we teach seminary. He does a great job, by the way.

Unfortunately, this morning Phyllis was relaxing in her pot with her vines hanging out all over. Well, one of those vines was in Roomba's way.

You guessed it, he broke it right off. She was furious, but being a potted plant, there was nothing she could do but sulk.

Although Roomba is usually very well behaved (he doesn't fall down the stairs, he doesn't chew up power cords, he doesn't leave dirt on the floor unless he has a full diaper - I mean, filter) he has had problems in the past.

For example, we have an 18" tall penguin that M. is going to finish painting soon, and has been going-to-finish-painting-soon since November... but I digress. We have an 18" penguin that was hanging out near the door in the office one day when we sent Roomba in to do his thing. When we came back an hour later, the penguin was in the corner, facing the corner like a kid on time-out. But being an inanimate object, he couldn't do anything about it. It was very sad.

I've been searching online for a Roomba whisperer, like the dog-whisperer, to help Roomba get along with our plants and penguins, but I haven't found anything yet.

P.S. I cannot wait until they invent a Roomba lawnmower. Cha-ching!